Sunday, January 20, 2008

Fiction: Charlie Cummings at Twilight

Nothing ever happens to Charlie Cummings. Well, nothing good. Where Charlie works, there is no opportunity for advancement. At the places Charlie hangs out, there are no women his age to talk to. When he looks at new cars, they aren't fun to drive. When he watches TV, there's nothing on he wants to watch.

This is why we find Charlie battling traffic on Main street at dusk on rush hour. He's on his way to talk to his psychologist. Like two weeks ago, the problem is a Toyota is burning itself to the ground. Charlie fumes about today's high pressure fuel pumps and over excited drivers.

Not wishing to be late again, Charlie decides to turn around in the parking lot of an orthodontist who never seems to be open. As he drives his car around the back of the building, he spots a young blonde woman hovering in front of the headlights of her Taurus. She's peeing.

Not knowing the protocols, Charlie waves at her. Her friends cry out in laughter. The car following Charlie honks.

Charlie thinks to himself this is either the most embarrassing moment of the girls life or maybe the greatest. He figures she'll never forget it. He also wonders how the hell much she had to drink.

On the way home later, Charlie stops at a bistro for a bite to eat.

After an acceptable meal, Charlie is leaving when he spots an unusual couple. The man is average in most every way, but the woman is much younger and stunningly tall and thin. Charlie wonders if this is what a "size zero" looks like. Her dress is tight and brown and it matches her flowing hair. As he passes them, Charlie notices she's wearing a anklet. But, instead of a gold chain or silver charms, she is wearing diamonds. Charlie wondered if the man bought her a tennis bracelet and it didn't fit as she is so thin.

He told a co-worker about these women.

The woman said, "Well, I say the first one is into humiliation and the second one might be trophy wife, but she's probably cuckolding him."

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